As I got up and started my blog today, I was acutely aware of my need for God in my life. I need God for everything. I can’t think of one single area of my life that I don’t need him in. I really don’t have it together and cannot function aside from his guidance and intervention in my affairs. Without him I would be lost and that is a fact. I have come to rely on him for everything and if I were suddenly faced with the prospect of doing this on my own I would be utterly lost. I am so glad that I will never have to face that, since he has promised never to leave me or forsake me.
Every day I pray to God that he would guide me and inspire me as to what to write in this blog. I need him like the flowers need the rain and know that I cannot do it without him. I have no wisdom or knowledge to pass along, nothing that would be of any use to anyone else aside from him. In my wisdom I made a mess of my life so why would anyone want to try what has already failed me? I am in need of more and I know that the only source of what I need is God. His eternal wisdom and the grace he gives me are the two things that get me through and enable me to write this blog every day. Therefore, it is to him that I look for material and the inspiration and guidance that I need as I begin to write these words.
I have tried life without God and it doesn’t really work all that well. I have gone out on my own and attempted to do things my way, relying on what I thought was best in every situation. I quickly found myself frustrated and spinning my wheels as I came up against problem after problem. Life seemed to be too much for me, yet I kept on trying. I didn’t want to acknowledge that I couldn’t do it, which is the first step towards accepting Christ. We have to realize that we are in need of saving before we can take that step to ask for help and that was something I really didn’t want to do. And yet it was the only thing that made sense. It should have been clear to me that I wouldn’t make it on my own and yet I stubbornly struggled on, trying to do it my way.
This went on for quite a while with no good results. I was unhappy in life and drank and got high to take the unhappiness away. I spent all my time and money trying to self-medicate the problems I was having, never wanting to accept that my main problem was the lack of a relationship with God in my life. That was the one thing I was running from and was going to do it my way at all costs, even if that meant going down with the ship. I could see that my life wasn’t getting any better but had almost gotten used to being miserable, unwilling to give up and give in to Christ. I guess I saw it as a defeat to stop doing things my way and accept his ways, so I struggled on. This was sheer pride and foolishness on my part and would have been my undoing had I not come to my senses. I am just glad that God is so long-suffering and patient in dealing with me.
Today I am a different person. I have learned the hard way what it is to do life without Christ and I have learned what it is to have him in my life. I now know what it was that he was trying to tell me all those years, that I didn’t have to carry all the weight of the world myself. He has called all who are weary and burdened to come and learn from him, taking up his yoke, for his burden is light. He doesn’t demand much from me, in contrast to the world, which is a taskmaster. I have only received love and grace from Christ and not condemnation. He has given me more than I could ever re-pay and I am on solid ground now that I am in a relationship with him. Without Christ, I would have nothing.
The greatest thing I have ever done was accept Christ into my life. I had heard the word of God as a kid but thought that it wasn’t for me. I went out on my own and felt like I could be the one that was able to handle my business and be okay without him. Oh man, was I wrong! And yet God was there the whole time, wooing me and drawing me to himself. He never gave up on me no matter how may times I rejected him. It seems that he had a plan and a purpose for my life that I was unaware of and nothing in my plans could compare. I had really low sights in my life and didn’t plan on being much. And yet here I am, a child of God, seated with Christ in heavenly places! It is only through the intervention of Christ in my life that I am even alive to write these things, and I am eternally grateful for all that he has done.
For anyone out there who thinks they can do it on their own, know this: it doesn’t work! We weren’t made to go it alone but, rather, to be in a relationship with God. It is God’s design, the God who created us in his own image, for us to walk hand-in-hand with him for all the days of our lives. It is him who we are to rely on and it is him who will meet all our needs. Whatever we may find ourselves dealing with in this life, be it mental issues, relationship issues, financial issues or whatever, he is ready and willing to help us through it all. Our ultimate need is forgiveness of sin and he has made a way for us to receive that through his son, Jesus Christ. Through faith in Christ we can be forgiven and reconciled to God and he will come into our lives and give us his Spirit, marking us as his. This is our guarantee of salvation on the last day and the source of our power for living each day.
With all this world has to throw at us, it is utterly foolish to try and go it alone. I spent many years spinning my wheels and being defeated over and over by the world, when all I had to do was turn to the Lord. I am now in a much better place mentally and spiritually. I have a sense of purpose and the peace that I have from God is indescribable. It is greater than anything I could ever imagine. I hope and pray that anyone who reads this and is struggling would take my example and the words I have shared and realize that it is only in Christ that we can be free. It is only in Christ that we can have victory in life. Only Christ can make sense of the senselessness of the world and its ways. I pray that all who read these words would come to know the Lord as I have today. For without Christ, we really have nothing.